How to Build Your Personal Style: My Best Tips and Tricks

Step 1: What Are You Actually Getting Dressed For?

Not the event you go to twice a year – the places you spend your actual day-to-day mundane life in. Write down your THREE main activities.

The pieces you’re thrifting or adding to your wishlist might not be what you actually need, and that’s making you more confused. Maybe you have a corporate job requiring formal wear. Maybe you have a chill job where comfort is key.

For me: working from home (could stay in pajamas but ideally want to feel cute), workout classes (so I need outfits that transition), and work events (fashion networking stuff where I step it up).

Now think: what goals do you want to fulfill? Comfortable? Warm? Flexible? How do you want others to perceive you – modest, approachable, authoritative? I want to look creative, be comfortable, but also be a little bit… you know… bold.

Step 2: Pick Your Bottoms (3-5 Only)

I know this is hard, but we’re building an imaginative capsule wardrobe here. For people who love fashion, it’s SO easy to get lost in wanting more trends, more cool things. That’s overwhelming. It’s much easier to think about what you’d wear every day of the week.

Rules: Don’t pick two items that serve the same function. If you pick low-waist jeans, you probably don’t need another pair of jeans. Think about what you already have. Consider colour, fabric, silhouette. Be as picky as possible.

I’m picking: barrel jeans, a maxi flowy skirt (comfortable, no ironing, versatile), formal pants, and patterned pants because I have a pants obsession.

Step 3: Pick Your Tops (3-5 Only)

Same rules. What blouses are you always going back to? What’s constantly in the laundry? If you like minimalist outfits, maybe a coloured sweater so the colour speaks for itself. Want chic and sexy? Off-the-shoulder. Just comfy? Balloon sweater. I love flowy tops that are formal but casual, stylish but not extravagant – and don’t need ironing (sensing a theme here).

Step 4: Accessories

Pick a scarf style (chunky? silk?). Pick a necklace style or two. Earrings – I’m lazy about taking them off and my ears get infected, so I just wear hoops I really love. If you’re running around all day, maybe pendants aren’t ideal (hair tangles, you know).

Bracelets and watches – if it’s cold where you live, they’ll be covered by sleeves anyway. Rings – not great if you work in a kitchen. Glasses – people spend so much on bags and shoes, but if you wear seeing glasses, two or three distinctive pairs can change your whole look. Hats – maybe not for office jobs where you’ll have hat hair, but I love them.

Step 5: Shoes (3-5 Only)

Good rule: one sneaker, one heel (if you have occasions for heels), one flat (loafer, ballet flat, Birkenstock). I know picking 3-5 shoes seems brutal, but look at your shopping pattern – you probably have a lot of similar ones. I have many black boots (hand-me-downs from mom and grandma), so I’m only picking ONE black boot category.

Step 6: Bags

This is where I’m least comfortable – I have lots of cheap thrifted bags but none I REALLY love. Ask yourself: Do you need little crossbodies because you don’t carry much? Big totes because you always have your laptop? Should your bag be the spicy element (vibrant colour) or funky model?

Step 7: The Waiting Game

Now bold the items you DON’T already have. Then – and you’re going to hate me – set a calendar reminder for ONE MONTH from today. Go back to that list and see what you still really love and would wear for 10 days straight.

Impulse purchasing is SO frustrating when figuring out your style. Our brains evolve. You buy something you love, and 2-3 months later you don’t care anymore. Waiting a month is powerful – it saves money AND builds self-trust.

If you’re an online thrifter: NO saving things to wishlists during that month. That’s cheating. Also ask: if this was 2-3x the price, would you still buy it? And try to mentally build five outfits with things you already own before purchasing.

Step 8: Outfit Formulas

Go to your Pinterest boards, your outfit photo album, anywhere you save fashion inspiration. Write 10 outfit formulas using your categories. Not super specific – use the categories you picked. “White shirt + straight fit jeans + colourful flat.”

This ends your existential crisis because now you have formulas with things you already love paired with other things you already love. And chances are, you have most of it already.

Step 9: Dream Bigger

Create a Pinterest wishlist board for unique pieces you see. Stop thinking cool things are out of reach. If you spent less on “almost right” cheap thrifted items and bought fewer things you REALLY love, mornings would be easier. Allow yourself to be picky.

Step 10: Document Everything

Taking outfit photos is the best way to understand what you actually like. Unpin things over time – what survives is what you truly love long-term. Challenge yourself: don’t leave the house without an outfit you like, even to the supermarket.

Step 11: Experiment With Your Hair

Every time I feel less confident, I realize weeks later it’s because I’m tired of my hair. I was terrified of bangs until I was 20 – so stupid because I try everything else. Your hair is one of your biggest accessories. People forget that.

One Last Thing

You don’t have to belong to an aesthetic. Nobody is dressing “balletcore” every single day – they just incorporate pieces into what they already have. Stop criticizing people (and yourself) for buying things lots of people have. Why do we stop loving something just because everyone has it?

Now go fill out that notes template and finally figure out your personal style! ✨